


All these girls of mine

by Merit



Category: PIERCE Tamora - Works
Genre: Break Up, Coming Out, F/F, Gen, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 23:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1365280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merit/pseuds/Merit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daja is still heartbroken over Rizu. The rest of the Circle decides to enlist Lark to help heal Daja.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All these girls of mine

They were less than a day away from Summersea when Daja pulled up her horse and stopped in the middle of the road. Briar swore some Chammuri here, a bit of Imperial there, as he swerved to avoid hitting here. He muttered a few assurances to his _shakkan_ and then urged his horse to be on par with Daja.

“What are you doing?” He asked. The rest of their party was looking back. Daja and Briar had been bringing up the rear.

Daja shook her head, her flesh fingers rubbing up against her living metal hand. He sighed and gave Daja a level stare.

“You only do that when you’re worried,” Briar said, rubbing his short hair. It was dusty this close to Summersea. The traffic was getting more crowded the closer they got to the capitol of Emelan and the dust was sticking to everything that wasn’t Sandry stitched. Her clothing smugly rejected the dust.

_What is it?_ Tris asked through their connection. _If you’re keeping me from my bed for no good reason..._ and she left her threat hanging.

“I’m fine,” Daja called out, out loud so everyone could hear. She pointedly ignored the look that Tris and Briar exchanged.

 

* * *

 

_Home_.

Everyone was smiling, gentle heels urging their horses to go that little bit faster. Even Gudruny and her children looked happy. But they had been travelling for weeks, something they had never done before. Even if Emelan was a strange and foreign country, it had beds and baths. It was enough to make everyone extra cheerful as they were enthusiastically received by the guards. A runner was sent off to Duke Vedris. That sent Sandry beaming.

They reached a crossroads that would either take them to the palace or Daja’s house. They paused. Sandry pursed her lips together, eyes suddenly sad that they would departing once more.

“I suppose this is goodbye,” she said, rubbing her finger against the scar where her lump had disappeared to.

Tris sighed. “We have been in each other’s pockets for weeks. We’ll see each other tomorrow,” Tris said, looking up from her book.

“We will?” Sandry said, eyes welling up with tears.

Briar leaned over his saddle’s horn and nodded, eyes dancing. “None of us are leaving Emelan just yet, Sandry.”

“Not yet,” Tri said archly, closing her book and giving them a steady stare. “I still intend on going to Lightsbridge.”

“Maybe I’ll visit!” Sandry said grandly, turning her horse in the direction of the palace. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” She called. Gudruny and her children waved their goodbyes.

_And none of us will smell like horse_ , Daja added wryly.

Tris snorted. “One can hope.”

 

* * *

 

It must be near midnight. Daja groaned and put her pillow on her head. “How are you two not tired?” She whined, her voice coming through muffled. Tris grunted as she sat on Daja’s bed. Though she wouldn’t tell them, even them, that she hurt sometimes, they all could tell. Sighing, Daja shifted over on her bed, allowing Tris more room. It unfortunately also allowed Briar space at her feet.

Giving up, she pushed the pillow to the side and sat up. “I wasn’t expecting company,” she said, gesturing to her body. She was only wearing a breast band up top. “Because it is _late_. And I thought everyone would be _sleeping_.” Tris rolled her eyes and Briar just shrugged.

“You’re anxious,” Tris said, through the shadowy light provided by the moon, Daja could see her push her glasses further up her long nose. They glinted dully. Daja thought they needed a good polish. Tris yawned but then continued her steady stare.

“What’s wrong?” Briar asked.

“You’re picking up too many bad habits from Sandry,” Daja muttered. “Worrying about people.”

_I like to think they’re picking up all my good habits_ , Sandry said through their connection. Judging by the way Tris quirked her lips and Briar grinned they were connected as well and had been sending the conversation back to her.

_I’m not_ , Daja said, opening up her connection to the others. It would be quicker this way, she thought. And then Daja could finally get some sleep.

_You can’t lie to us here_ , Sandry said gently. Her presence was like a warm touch on her shoulder.

_She’s just not going at lying. Period_. Briar said.

Daja leaned back against the wall, rubbing at her eyes _. I only had a few short weeks with Rizu_ , she said finally. Her foster siblings were quiet. _I know I like women now. I know._

_Boys_ , Tris said, wrinkling her long nose. _Not worth your time_ , she said seriously.

_I thought I would have longer. Enough time to convince Rizu to come with me to Summersea._ Daja laughed, just a bit bitterly.

_Heartache always hurts the most, the first time_ , Briar said.

_What if – what if I don’t find someone like Rizu again_ , Daja said, words rushing out. All those dark thoughts she had over the past several weeks. _What if Frostpine or Niko hated me –_

_They wouldn’t_ , Tris said sharply, one hand on her wrist. Daja looked at her. _They’ve known Rosethorn and Lark for years_.

_And you’ve heard what they’ve said about Winding Circle and Lightsbridge_ , Briar said, eyebrows raised wickedly. _Mages get up to all sorts of things there, they’ve probably seen and heard everything_.

_Briar_! All three girls cried out.

He shrugged, grinning unrepentantly.

_And if anyone does judge you_ , Tris said warningly, cracking her knuckles. _They’ll have me to deal with me._

_And me_ , Sandry and Briar added.

_I can’t believe you would think anyone would_ , Sandry said, and Daja could just see her shaking head in confusion.

_There’s just so much I don’t know_ , Daja said, staring down at her hands, one flesh, the other living metal. And hadn’t that been interesting with Rizu.

_I’m sure Lark would love to have a visit from you_ , Sandry suggested. _From all of us! You can talk to us and we can visit Gorse and bring back lunch_.

_Lark is one of the kindest people alive_ , Tris said softly.

Daja felt a harsh pang. _I shouldn’t have doubted her, I know, but it has been so rough. Leaving Rizu, when I did love her. Leaving Namorn like we did_ , she shook her head. _It is just all coming to me what happened._

_Bleat brain_ , Briar sing sang her but she could see him smiling warmly at her.

 

* * *

 

Lark greeted them happily when they arrived at Discipline Cottage. She leaned up from her loom, stray threads vanishing from her habit as she stood up and smiled at her former charges. Comas had already squeaked and rapidly retreated to Sandry’s old room.

“Where’s Rosethorn?” Briar asked curiously, peering into the garden where Rosethorn’s garden looked a bit overgrown and untended. “Evvy?”

“Winding Circle’s assistance was needed on the Battle Islands,” Lark said, leading them to the kitchen. “She took Evvy after there was a rumble with some boys,” she added, casting a glance in Briar’s direction.

“Deserved I’m sure,” Briar muttered absently. “You don’t mind if I?”

“Go,” Lark said, laughing as she made some shooing motions. Briar scarpered to the garden, already muttering his apologies to the weeds that would have to be plucked today.

“And Glaki?” Tris asked, noting an old ball of Glaki’s but nothing else that indicated that she was here.

“With girls from of the other dormitories,” Lark said. “I thought it best she spend some time with other children her age.”

Tris and Sandry exchanged a glance. “We’ll just go get lunch from Gorse,” Sandry said cheerily, looping an arm with Tris and waving merrily at Lark as she practically dragged Tris from Discipline Cottage. The door closed and Daja could hear Tris’ muttered complaints.

Daja kept her eyes on her hands. She rubbed at the living metal absently. She would have to take some off this evening, she thought; she had ignored it too long on their lengthy journey from Namorn.

“Tea?” Lark asked, standing and putting a kettle on. Daja nodded as Lark chose one of Rosethorn’s special mixes.

“Do you miss her?” She asked and instantly blushed. She had meant to go about this with a bit more tact and decorum.

“Always,” Lark said. “But life will never be just Rosethorn. We both have our respective duties to Winding Circle, to the Earth Temple and to our own spiritual selves,” she said, pressing a hand against her chest. “We also have our duties to our students,” she added.

Daja nodded. That made sense. Daja didn’t have that though. While she respected the Winding Circle gods and goddesses, Trader Koma and Bookkeeper Oti would always be her first gods. Dedicating yourself to their service was unheard of amongst Traders. It wouldn’t keep the balance right, Daja thought. Traders required something a bit more substantial.

“And there were others before Rosethorn,” Lark said quietly. “A dancer from Tharios, with the most enchanting dark eyes, we spent three months together before my troupe left Tharios. I travelled with a fellow tumbler for three years though we were only lovers for one. After my asthma made it impossible for me to travel, she left with the troupe. We both cried, but why let it ruin both our careers?” Lark added, shrugging. “She’s a lead tumbler in a troupe now. We meet whenever she’s in Summersea.”

“But it hurt,” Daja said.

“It did,” Lark said. “But the heart heals. I probably wallowed in it a bit longer than I should have,” she said ruefully. “My career was ruined, I hadn’t discovered my magic yet, I was surrounded by poverty in the Mire. I took a beating spiritually,” she said carefully. “But if it wasn’t for all that, I would have never sought healing at Urda’s House, never would have discovered my magic, never would have even met Rosethorn.”

Daja nodded.

“And, Daja, you’re still quite young,” Lark said, rubbing Daja’s shoulder. “All of this happened when I was older than you. You four have been all so remarkable in many ways,” Lark said softly. “But while you have experienced much on your journeys to Namorn, both of them, there’s still a thousand journeys ahead of you.”

“I fell in love with someone there,” she said, voice small. “Her name was Rizu and she was the most beautiful woman,” Daja closed her eyes. “We didn’t have enough time.”

“We rarely do,” Lark said.

“I loved her but she served the Empress,” Daja shrugged. “I couldn’t offer her lands. A position she deserved. So she decided to stay in Namorn.”

“And you decided to come home to Summersea,” Lark said.

Daja sagged, her face set in misery. “My bond with my siblings was, is, too great,” she said tiredly. “I couldn’t leave to face the Empress alone. I couldn’t love someone enough to forget them.”

“Your heart can be filled with many different types of love for many different types of people,” Lark said. “Consider Rosethorn and Crane.”

“I don’t know if I would call that love,” Daja murmured, thinking of the combative pair.

“They care for each other, despite all their pointed remarks and competition,” Lark said. “Rosethorn and I share a different type of relationship. We have our love and our service to our gods.”

“Maybe one day,” Daja said, though it hurt to think of opening her heart to someone else when she was still so raw inside from heartbreak. She closed her eyes, feeling tears fall hot and wet down her cheeks. “Sorry,” she said, wiping at her face. “I thought I had cried it all out in Namorn.”

“Oh Daja,” Lark said, reaching out and embracing Daja. “This may not be your home anymore, but I will always be a welcoming shoulder for you to rest on.”

Through her tears, Daja smiled and nodded.

“Thank you, Lark,” Daja said.

 

* * *

 

They were on the roof again, their roof, the real roof, not the simulacrum that Briar had created. Being here, Daja marvelled at how Briar had created something that felt so close to reality. She sighed and leaned back into the thatch.

“We should help replace it before it gets too cold,” Briar said lazily. “The thatch that is.” There were still traces of dirt high up on his wrists though Sandry’s magic had kept his trousers as neat and pressed as when they had left Summersea.

Tris snorted. “I don’t think it is in quite as much danger as it used to be,” she said, threading a hand through her hair. It seemed like an age ago when Tris had been constantly sporting little dancing lightning. It was a testament to her new control, Daja thought.

“Hey Coppercurls,” Briar said, smiling, “You never know who might be a student here next. Maybe it’ll be a fire mage who breaths flame. Then they’ll want freshly spelled fire resistant thatch.”

“Oh it can wait another day,” Sandry said, eyes closed against the bright glare of the sun. “Can’t we just leave this moment be?”

“Definitely showing your Namorn roots,” Tris said dryly.

Sandry’s eyes flew open and she stared at Tris accusingly. “How?”

“Oh you’re like one of those court butterflies, sunning themselves,” Tris said airily. For once there wasn’t a book in her hands, so she could wave her hands in mimicry of Sandry.

Two high spots of colour appeared on Sandry’s face.

The other three laughed.

The colour faded and Sandry relaxed back down on the thatch. “I suppose you’re right,” she conceded. “It is just a lovely day! Spending it with you three.”

_Yes_ , they echoed back at her.

“It does get very cold,” Daja said. “Up north they get more months of snow than months without it.”

Briar shuddered with distaste. “Even Rosethorn wouldn’t want the plants to be resting that much,” he said.

“I’ll have to teach you ice skating at some point,” Daja said, raising her hand up and peering through her fingers at the warm sun above. “One day we’ll go where it gets cold enough to freeze the rivers and lakes.”

“I’d like that,” Sandry said. “And it would be nice to go somewhere without being kidnapped or assaulted,” she added.

“Agreed,” Tris said, who had been very slow getting up on the roof. She had even taken help from Daja and Briar without too much complaining.

“Hey,” Briar said, stirring from his position, “I can feel Rosethorn. She’s coming home!”

The girls shared a smile.

“It’ll be good to everyone had Winding Circle,” Sandry said, sitting up and hugging her knees.

“It’s good to back,” Daja said, standing up. “I’ll see if Frostpine will want to come over for lunch,”

Sandry’s mouth twisted. “Well nearly everyone,” she said, eyeing Tris. “I don’t suppose Niko is anywhere close?”

Tris shook her head. “As far as I know he’s visiting Sotat. But we were gone for months so who knows,” she said, shrugging.

“It was a good idea to come here,” Daja said. “Thank you _saati_ ,” she said, eyes full of tears once more.

Her foster siblings smiled back at her.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the space 'coming out' for trope_bingo.


End file.
